You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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