No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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