im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
