i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
