this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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