i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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