Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
