i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
