I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
