I wanna passion pit in your ass
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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