Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Where is the hickey?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
