she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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