we have officially lost it.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
