she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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