I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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