I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
