I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
