Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
