I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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