he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
