last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
