Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
