I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
where does the pee come out of this thing
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
