I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
