Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
