plz talk dirty to me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
