I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
