And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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