Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
