therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
