the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
