Dual....:-)
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize