Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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