what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
