last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
