Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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