Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
