lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
