I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
