I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
sarcasm needs its own font
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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