i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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