He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
