I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
