We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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