you would pick up someone in the library
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
