Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
