Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
