Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
