I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
