You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
