College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
