i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
