I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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