Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
