so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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