I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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